Time Management to Overcome Emotional Dead End

What does set the time that we had to overcome the problems due to clogged emotions not channeled? There is. Even very closely and fundamental. Various boundary conditions of space, distance and time in the density of everyday activities often lead to their communications channel one-way, dead-end, or retained. It can happen between a mother and a father, mother and child, father and child, or children with other children in the family. As a result there will be blocked emotions, inarticulate, stored as an expense. If the repressed emotions that are left does not meet the communication channel and release the right, it will be the base of many problems in a family.

I observed each of us as individuals have a need to convey emotion through various channels. This seems a possible need different level for each person with a different character. However, in essence, the need was there. The tendency, a mother may need more verbal channels to convey emotions, both positive and negative emotions. A sense of excitement, emotion, sad, or disappointed almost always have to be issued with the words, though not always the case. However, I noticed there was a trend. Speak and be heard, to be crucial for the mother. Look mom was so happy when they get together with other women in a social gathering.


On the other hand, does not mean that the father did not need to talk and be heard. Only, it seems fathers tend to be more efficient with verbal affair. A father may not be a lot of talk all the time as a mother. But once the father spoke, his words so deep and meaningful. Dad's words were brief and rare that it is often embedded in the minds of the children until they are adults. Father as head of the family often place themselves as a leader who did not want to appear weak. Fathers tend to be good at hiding the worry, fear, and sadness. Dad may not irritable or cranky like mother, if there are things that are abhorrent. However, the father remains a man who needs to channel his emotions.

What about the children? They are quite unique. Children aged fewer than five in general have not been able to express his feelings as us adults. They sometimes can instantly upset and angry and cried or kicked if their wishes are not met. The child's mood is influenced by insufficient or lack of parental supervision.

Children, who rarely embraced his parents, rarely do the activities that are physical and emotional togetherness with her mother and father will also be irritable and angry. Do not believe? I've proved it. Three consecutive homes from work late will make the son of my eldest (aged seven) cranky. Her sister, women aged 4.5 years too cranky. Different. His sister was able to talk on the phone that he was annoyed when the mother came home late, because it wanted to meet her mother and doing activities together. While his brother, throwing books or kicking whatever is nearby.

Obviously, a good mother, father, and children have a need to channel feelings with tasty and convenient. There is a need for "emotion release". Well, sometimes that emotion cannot be channeled properly because the time was not met, and space separate overdo. Therefore, it is important for us to set the time on a regular basis so that emotions were restrained and not meet the fallopian tubes may release properly. Also so as not to trigger the emergence of new problems. If the emotion is already at an impasse, it will usually affect other activities. Working so disturbed, learning to be a lack of concentration and motivation, play became less fun. The effect can be like a snowball.

Solution timing for emotional dead end is to balance the needs of the time for four. Time should be divided proportionally to all (family time), both special times between one parent with one child (time alone), a couple (couple time), and time itself (me time). The division of this time I learned after listening to the exposure of a Child and Adolescent Psychologist Vera Itabiliana Hadiwidjojo of the Institute of Applied Psychology, University of Indonesia. He was a guest speaker in a talk show in the office where I work, titled "Be the Best You as Working Mom", last year (2015). Incidentally, I served as the host. Why do I have to write it down now? Because it took me a year to prove that what is suggested Mrs. Vera sure enough help to release emotions.

How to fourth division this time can help deal with emotional problems due to a dead end? Let us see one by one.

Family Time

The time for all family members come together, do fun activities together, we call family time. At this time, all family members can be devoted affection and feelings of joy. At this time, emotions can release a little pent easily. Happiness gathered together, knit physical and emotional closeness in the family, can eliminate just upset at work, on the street, or in school. Family time is able to treat the desire to exist as an intact family.

Family time is quality, not distracted by gadgets and digital display, is believed to be able to really improve the strained relationship between family members due to the density of activity. Family time that quality does not have to go on vacation to a nice place and far. Wherever and whenever, as long as at that time the whole family can get together, doing fun activities together-either a swim or cook collectively, that's the right moment to build emotional bridges.

Emotional closeness between family members is not built with a family time. But, with family time regular and sufficient, and with quality. For families who can carry out the dawn prayer in congregation every day, it could be a family at the same time highly accurate mood booster morning.

Time Alone

Children, as I pointed out above, have uniqueness. They cannot express his feelings as easily as adults. Special conditions needed to be able to ferret out what they are feeling, what emotions are not channeled, and communications like what they expect to discuss specific things about them.

I'm never surprised when my youngest child who was still in school at play group suddenly will not go to school. I have not managed to figure out why though I tried to hug him and talk to very carefully. Precisely because the youngest- not go to school to unfold when he was alone with his father, no I, no brother. To his father, the youngest son finally admitted often pinched his friends in the school, which was the son of a teacher, who attend school in the same place. He did not like being pinched. And finally do not want to school. Based on this, we then refer to the school to find a solution.

I've also noticed the firstborn suddenly depressed and dispirited. Our parents did not manage to find out why. Until finally when I invited the eldest to go eat ice cream to shop alone. That the older child feels sad because he always had to budge from his brother. If the toy marred brother, he had to succumb because the sister was a child. If the pencil or school tools taken his brother, also had to yield. The eldest feel neglected. A hug her sister while assuring that the mother will give confidence to teach younger brother in order to learn to respect the property of his brother, it should be.

Of these events, I learned that time alone is enough of it is crucial. Its function is to uncover the child's emotions are not conveyed in normal conditions. Kids need the right atmosphere to communicate restlessness, need assurance that there is no comfort to release his emotions. If this is neglected, emotions will accumulate, not channeled a dead end. Do not be surprised if the children become depressed or otherwise become uncontrollable rage. Worse yet will have an impact on her enthusiasm for the school and interact with peers. Children who suddenly become naughty in school, it is likely the main cause is no emotion that is not channeled and parents are quick to respond because it was busy.

If we have two children, fathers need time alone is enough with the first and second child. Similarly, mothers, need time alone is enough with the first and second child. Not to be long and far. Suppose the father went to shave and tooling expenditures alone with the boy, the mother spoke daughter cook together a new menu. Then when mothers take the boys go eat ice cream to the tavern, the father took his daughter home tinkering with computers.

Time alone will be effective in uncovering the cause’s problems that do not appear in a regular atmosphere. Make effective communication, listening to the child, give a sense of comfort. Trust me. Please you try it. I have tried it this past year.

Couple Time

Often, the couple met saturation due solely preoccupied with the affairs of work and caring for children. Nothing is forgotten. Time alone together often missed. Yet this is important. Set aside time to be alone with each other couples to equalize frequency.

Couple time did not have such a luxury honeymoon. Can only backyard when the kids are asleep, spend time together to remember anything that escaped delivered because of busyness. Mutually assured that you both trust and strengthening is important.

If the couple time never pursued is likely to erode confidence, empty love tank, bring a sense of neglect, and the ends of each other's quest for a new reception. If the father and mother still believe the importance of consolidating, immediately improve couple time.

Me Time

Everyone needs enough time for you. Children though. A baby we really need to own during waking time by letting it roll around, staring at the wall and grabbed a pillow or a toy. Let the moment the tiny baby had time. The term, to give him time to solve their own problems.

Toddlers too. Let the children play on their own at a time unaccompanied, unaided. Let your child play dough cool with her, making odd shapes that we do not understand. Let once the boys we experimented with second-hand goods which into a new form. Let. They took me time. Left on its own without anyone interrupting.

Mom and dad too. Allow some time to let the mother sat reading a novel while sipping hot tea alone on the back porch of the house. Allow some time to let the father tinkering with his car to get bored, do not disturb. Me time makes each individual peace with himself, and internal consolidation with himself. It's healthy.

If it is less me time, as a result there will be emotions are not channeled properly. The impact could be targets everywhere. Therefore, both ends meet me time and themselves.

Well, if the fourth time we can balance it, Insha'Allah each family member will get the channels that fit to release his emotions. Mom and Dad have enough time together. Also, enough time with each child. One child had enough time with the other children. Each member of the family had enough time to herself. Beyond that, each member of the family also sought sufficient interaction with peers and communities outside the home such as with teachers, peers, and others.

If there is a problem outside the home that make the child upset, mom and dad or sibling can be a conduit when there is enough time alone. Likewise, when there is a blockage of communication in the workplace, quality family time can be a way out at the weekend to repair.

Everyone in this world has the same time. 24 hours a day. 7 days a week. 52 weeks a year. However, not all people have the awareness to set the time held in accordance with the needs of human nature. Hopefully, we are given the ability to always be aware improving time management for the good of our families from time to time. We can, certainly can, and go ahead.....!

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